Annoucement To All
I would just like to say
I hate all of you bitches.
I really do.
I hope you poop your pants and burn in hell.
Wondering what to get my for Christmas?
A hammer.
The only thing I would LOVE to do is smash your face with a hammer.
Or a few dozen tenpenny nails driven straight into your fucking heads.
I hope you all get cancer and live with one fucking lung. Just one.
I wish the worst for all of you.
And irritable bowl syndrome for your mothers.
-DbL
Who Uses What?
Asians use chopsticks.
Skinny people use forks.
Hungry people use spoons.
Fat people use sporks.
-DbL
LA’s Contingency Plan
Right now there is a raging wild fire going on in northern LA, California. With hurricane force winds and really dry weather, its spreading fast. According to LAPD, rolling blackouts may occur because the fires have been taking out electrical lines.
What I would like to hear from the LAPD is the following:
“Yes, we do have a contingency plan in case of a rolling blackout. We have a backup crank generator operated by 1000 macaque monkeys on hand in case of such an emergency.”
-DbL
Dear Mos Def…
Please shut the fuck up.
I enjoy your music and Black Star, the “best alliance in hip-hop.”
(See I know my lyrics.)
But you conspiracy theorist muther fucker.
Its bad enough you believe 9-11 was a set up and other bullshit,
but you sound like your talking through a freckled asshole.
If you can’t give good enough plausible reasons for your “theories” then shut up.
If you can’t explain without giving know-nothing half assed bullshit metaphors like every fucking pseuo-fucking-intellectual, then shut THE fuck up.
If there isn’t music or a beat playing the background, keep the yapper shut.
Please.
-DbL
Ain’t it Great to be an Asian right about now?
A few minutes ago, Barack Obama won the presidential election.
I happened to vote this morning for the loser, but I’m colorblind when it came to this election. I voted for the issues, not the person.
But watching McCain’s congratulatory speech, you could just feel the whole country’s tension as a black man has become president. The hate from the crowd at McCain’s place…talk about fore coming racial tensions in this country in the next 4 years.
So..I have never been as glad as I am to be Asian. Why? We’re only going to be on the sidelines. We might get caught in the middle of this racial war, but really…Asians are pussies…we don’t do much but steal your chances of getting into an Ivy League and paint your toenails. It’ll be another century before we see a woman president. It’ll be another 2 centuries before we see an Asian. I don’t plan on living long enough to see a woman president so I’ll luckily die before any real political Asian-White/Black/Hispanic tension arises like this 2008 election.
As for my children’s children? Who gives a fuck. Not my problem.
