Stare and Make Someone Happy
I’m not a complete asshole.
I like to do my part in making the world a little happier place, you know, giving a kid with cancer a little chuckle. That kinda crap. Here’s what I do:
I stare at cars.
Allow me to be more specific…
There are two kinds of cars people buy, a used car and a new car.
People buy used cars either because they can’t afford a new car and decided to settle with the fake synthetic new car smell or cause, like me, you don’t give a shit about being able to drive but would prefer to go hiking on your own time without having to wait on someone to go with. You can’t smoke a reefer with your uncle as a reward at the top of the mountain.
People buy new cars BECAUSE THEY NEED SOME ATTENTION AND TLC.
They like to wax their car whenever they can…clean every smudge they see…take it to the body shop just to show it off…even though it doesn’t have a single problem and you’ve barely gone 100 miles on your new whip.
Its like all of a sudden growing a second penis. If I grew another penis the next morning….I would PURPOSELY let it hang out the fly….
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Putting the Bagel on the Pedestal
Its “Hate on Koreans Week” because my cousins from the land of 2/3’s mountain ranges and 1/3 PC Cafes are over and ruining my already ruined life.
True Facts (No Bullshit):
Bagels are revered like fucking caviar in Korea…
apparently its fucking expensive and “new” in the Southern Korea region.
It shocked them to see everyone eating a bagel for breakfast nonchalantly.
“I’ve only eaten a bagel thrice…and thats a lot…”
wow….
The American Culture travels half way across the world and up the mountains to reach Korea, where it becomes more of a cult.
Remember Soulja Boy?…remember that dance?…Remember the little phase America had with the whole shit…it was everywhere on YouTube…then all of a sudden..it just faded away…and we’re back to doing the Charleston….well apparently…its the biggest thing now in Korea…and you can’t get away from it anywhere there. People are doing it everywhere…clubs..bars..streets…school….and if you don’t know how to….YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING LOSER AND YOU WILL BE STONED TO DEATH WHERE YOUR DECAYING BODY WILL HELP FERMENT THE NATION’S KIMCHI SUPPLY……seems like MTV is the dialysis machine hooked up to Korea….
Part 2 coming….
As I get a stockpile of bagels ready for when I go to Korea this winter…Bagel earrings….Bagel Fitted Caps…..sounds like profit to my ears….
-DbL
